Enough With The Conundrums

co·nun·drum
/kəˈnəndrəm/
noun: a confusing and difficult problem or question.

Zora Neale Hurston once said,
“There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”

2025 was the year that asked me questions.
Relentlessly. Loudly. In every area of my life.

The year of too many freaking conundrums.

People often say the last year of your 20s feels like this. In my delusional mind, I truly believed it would not happen to me.

It did.
Almost immediately. Honestly, as soon as January 6, 2025, hit.

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The Career Question

Of course, the first question was about my career.

I built my career first on passion, then pivoted to money about nine months later, because passion is cute, but bills and my need and love for travel are very real.

I started a job I was genuinely excited about, then quit due to a micromanaging boss. I freelanced as an associate event producer, leading brand activations with 5,000-plus attendees. It was work I loved. But the lack of stability from November through December started asking questions I could not ignore.

I was raised on the belief: follow your passion and the money will follow.

Well, it had not followed yet.

So I decided to chase money.
And nobody wanted to hire me.

Like, nobody.

I was denied an entry-level admin job while having experience assisting and leading large-scale brand activations. Make it make sense.

I paid for career coaches. Resume writers. I finally started getting interviews, and still, nothing came from them.

So like any overachiever who wants stability, I said: fine. I will go back to school.

Obviously, law or bedside medicine, because I am smart and capable.

My sister is a nurse. After talking to her, I realized bedside medicine was not for me. So naturally, law was next.

I toured a school. Paid for an LSAT class. And then my body refused.

I could not focus. No matter what I tried.

That resistance forced the real question, the one beneath all the others.

Why am I doing this?

The honest answer was simple.
Money. Stability. That is it.

So I asked myself something harder.

If I could get money and stability from my actual passions, would I still choose law?

And the answer was hell no.

Because what I want is to:

• Create content, written and spoken

• Host live experiences such as events, workshops, and circles

• Teach frameworks that empower women

• Build intellectual property, including books and curriculum

• Be paid for my perspective and leadership

My life’s mission is simple and serious:
To advance the lives of girls and women through education, empowerment, and expanded opportunity.

Law was never the dream.
It was the escape plan.

So 2025 asked:
When are you actually going to see your dreams through?

And I answered.

In 2026, I am putting my all into work that makes my heart smile while still looking for a full-time job, yes, because dreams do not cancel bills. But I am done abandoning my gifts in the name of safety.

---

The Love Question

The second big question 2025 asked me was this:

Do I actually want to be married and have children right now?

And right behind it came another:

Why do I consider not being married with kids before 30 a personal failure instead of maybe a blessing?

My love life, like my career, is one area my Type A self has never been able to control or master.

And trust me, I tried.

Just as I paid career coaches, I also invested in programs meant to help me “figure this out.” I tried being agreeable. I tried dating outside my type. I am a romantic at heart and believe deeply in love.

Yet I have spent time in social environments where my singleness was deemed a curse and treated as the barrier preventing me from achieving the upward mobility I desire.

For the last three years, I have been actively deprogramming myself from that belief.

I know I will be an amazing wife and mother one day.
But right now, I am choosing to be the best version of myself.

Quoting one of my favorite matriarchs, Ms. Tina Knowles, I do have a friend. He is a gentleman. While the timing is not aligned, which hurts more than I anticipated, he has given me something invaluable.

He has helped me realize that while I desire partnership, I may not actually be ready for it yet.
And that truth does not make me behind.
It makes me honest.

Choosing myself in this season is not avoidance.
It is preparation.
And that is okay.

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Ultimately, 2025 reminded me that the questions we fear the most often carry the clearest answers. My career and love life asked me to pause, reflect, and align, not simply to chase what looks safe or expected. I learned that choosing myself, trusting my timing, and leaning into my gifts is not a compromise. It is a strategy for lasting fulfillment.

As I step into 2026, I carry these lessons forward. I will pursue work that ignites my heart, honor my own readiness in love, and embrace the detours as part of the journey. The conundrums of last year were not obstacles. They were signs pointing me toward clarity, purpose, and the life I am meant to create.

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Key Takeaways

• Misalignment often shows up as resistance in the body, even when a path looks logical on paper

• Stability should support your gifts, not replace or suppress them

• Delays and rejections are frequently redirection, not failure

• You are allowed to refine your direction without constantly rebranding yourself

• Readiness, not pressure, should set the timeline for both career and love

This week, I invite you to explore how your body reacts to areas where you have settled or quietly given up.

It may not be a lack of discipline.
It may be a lack of desire.

And remember:
Reading is cute. Implementation is better.

XoXo,
Chynna