Learning to See Her Again

Self-love is a state of appreciation and high regard for your own well-being, happiness, and growth.

Most of us would probably agree with that definition.

But if I am being real, self-love has never been a constant for me. It comes in waves. Some days I feel deeply confident and secure in who I am, and other days I barely recognize the way I speak to myself.

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to celebrate one of my closest friends in Miami. And honestly, this trip opened my eyes in a way I did not expect. Kind of like my trip to South Africa did.

Over the last year or so, I have gained a decent amount of weight, and it has affected how I feel in my body more than I wanted to admit. The thing is, I did not fully realize how much until two of my friends called me out for the constant comments I was making about my weight throughout the trip.

And whew. That moment sat with me.

Because they were right.

Somewhere along the way, I stopped loving myself the way I used to. I stopped seeing myself fully. And the crazy part is, I have so many reasons to love her.

So now, I am restarting that journey. I want to become my biggest fan again. I want to feel like the main character in my life, not the supporting actress standing in the background waiting to feel worthy.

I think a lot of people are too embarrassed to admit when their self-love is sitting at a 1 out of 10. But if I am honest, mine has been there before. Maybe it is there now in some ways.

My therapist is constantly trying to get me to really see myself. Not just the flaws I point out. Not just the things I want to fix. Me.

So I will ask you the same thing.

Have you taken the time to truly see yourself lately?

I am sure she is amazing. I am sure she is valuable. I am sure she deserves softness, grace, and love, too.